It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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