I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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