your room smells of hookers.
And success
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
