I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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