i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
