I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
