How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
