Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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