I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
my liver is dry heaving
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
