Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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