All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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