I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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