goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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