Sacagawea was the original milf.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
