His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
