She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
