Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize