I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
