dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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