My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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