so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
