It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
