He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
