Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
