wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
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Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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