the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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