what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
