i already hear my dad disowning me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
