goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize