problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
