the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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