just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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