I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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