I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
