Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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