PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
