im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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