So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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