Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
