that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
