Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
