so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
