Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
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think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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