Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
