As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
