quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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