4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
