...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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