you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
