I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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