The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was born a porn star she said
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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