i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
