If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
