u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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