I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you win again, gameday.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
