and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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