i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
