Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize