the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize