I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
