I think scott just propositioned me for sex
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
