I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
